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Filthy Habits

Even though I am a world-class expert on women, I sometimes find them hard to understand.  For example, I had been dating Margaret exclusively for about a year and a half, and I thought it was probably safe to put my arm around the back of her chair at a movie.  I was what we called in those days "a fast worker."

 

I still do not remember what the movie was about because I was too busy calculating exactly when to make my move.  I figured that, when the movie got really interesting, I would just casually slip my arm around her chair -- nothing too crude, you understand.

 

Unfortunately, that afternoon I had played three grueling sets of tennis and my coordination was shot.  About three-quarters of the way through the movie, I...

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